Well here we go! It has been a while since I posted. I guess the only excuse I have is that I have been lazy. Many times I have thought about posting and went over some things I could say in my mind but never made it to the computer. Things have been a bit complicated…
First of all I want to say how thankful I am that winter is over (I hope). It is hard for me when the snow keeps me indoors for any period of time. I had thought that we had been blessed with a really mild winter until that last-minute blizzard we got that kept me snow bound for a week and a half. I thought I was going to lose my mind at one point. I was out of some of my medicine and needed groceries and went to leave and my truck went right into the ditch. I did find out what nice neighbors I have though. I am not one to get chummy with neighbors because I don’t trust them. They get opinions and they gossip. But I realized that I hadn’t given them enough credit after a couple of them came to my rescue. I am just so glad that spring has sprung!
I mentioned in my last post that I have met someone. We’ve been together about three months now and it has been interesting to say the least. I am an extremely passionate person. I am passionate about expressing my love and I am unfortunately also passionate about expressing my hurt and anger. Even as old as I am I am relatively inexperienced with real relationships. I have had many encounters but not intimate close ongoing situations. I am realizing so much about me. Stuff I don’t like. She isn’t perfect either. She is very young, for one thing, and requires lots of patience. A gift I now know that I am not all that blessed with.
We have very little in common outside of the bed but we can not walk away from each other. It seems that the more conflict we have, the closer we become and the stronger our bond. Will this last a lifetime? I’m not so sure. But we are trying. I am working on changing some things about myself so we will see. I know now that I do not want to be alone anymore. I know that I am not as old as I have made myself think I am and there is a lot more energy in me than I ever realized. I am aware that being alone is not the answer for me. I need people, and I need love. But relationships are so very hard for me. I hope this gets easier. I am hoping that having her in my life will make me a better person. We both have so many issues that it has been touch and go many times. I learn more each time though about how to treat a woman I love.
Before I end I just want to rant a bit about judgmental people. I am appalled about what is going on in Indiana and just with people in general. I think it is time that as humans we start evolving past the discrimination. All the homophobic and racial nonsense that is still going on is ridiculous . Who do people think they are??? What makes some people think that they are in any place to set the standards for everyone else? Where do people get off thinking they are any better than anyone else just because they are too stubborn to take a second and try to understand anyone who happens to be different??? People think they are doing “God’s work”! They think that is what following Jesus is all about. But best I remember from church, there was a woman in the bible that was an adulterous and they wanted to stone her to death. What did Jesus say? “He who is without sin cast the first stone”. If people are so dead set in believing that the bible has all the answers, they need to follow the whole thing then, and not pick out what they think they can judge other people for. There will come a day when that bullshit won’t be tolerated anymore. That is all. Thanks for reading. I hope you all have a great Easter weekend ♥